hidden deep inside these thoughts of mine. will this pain ever stop? will it ever end? i just barely learned how to truely deeply smile, to laugh from the heart. i don't wanna hurt again. i want to live but not with this misuse. i never knew i hurt this much. i never knew someone could be so cruel. never had to hide. never had to hide. never had to hide my pain, my thoughts, or my heart. never knew this hatred. wishing for the love i thought i knew. woshing i could sleep for a few years. then come back alive stronger. dreams lost all hope. wanting to come back, but to far away to hear my heart scream scearm in pain for lost of all things good. hating the years that make me older but wanting to be grown. wanting to be able to enjoy life. hoping for a god to save me from my tormenting pain. from my painful depression they gave me.not wanting to break under pressure, but not being able to help it. stuck deep inside this cave of mine. wanting to find a place i can go to let my sheilds down and breathe dreaming of being somewhere safe not wanting to be dead not wanting to fall in this mess again. im so confused fighting everything just to choke on my own voice. just wanting one chance at life agian. i hate me for living here but hating not having a place to go to. trying to find my path. it seems i've just lost all track of my sanity. longing to be someone else all alone of these thoughts of mine. wondering when i well explode from all this anger in me. this loneliness, hopelessness,and drowning in all of this losing my innocence can i survive this life? im not exactly ashamed just afraid.